school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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