is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
