yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
He kissed a someone with a penis
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
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