there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
