I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
