I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
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At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
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I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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