He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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