He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Barsexuality is the new black.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
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