just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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