is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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