i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
