I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome