Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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