Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.