Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
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we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
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When / where did the additional couches appear?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....