My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.