alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
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