tell your sister to shave her snatch
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Randomize
