I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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