I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
