Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
