i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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