The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Randomize