bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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