no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
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