I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
