The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Randomize
