I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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