margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
you would pick up someone in the library
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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