i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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