im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
