I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
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