That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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