so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
You don't make any sense
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