My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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