Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
