I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
