So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
