no. you can't hotbox the world.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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