I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
