I will die if light touches me.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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