Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
