Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
