you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
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Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
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I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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