guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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