this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.