she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
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I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
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Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.