my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.