a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.