I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
where are you?
Hypothermia
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
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