butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Banned from zoo.
Again?
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Randomize
