Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Randomize
