you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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