You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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