just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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