she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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