This is not my ceiling
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize