the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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