i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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