sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!