you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
21 Bartenders That Are Definitely Winning At Their Jobs
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry