found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
