How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we still banned from the library?
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
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