you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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