I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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