tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
