so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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