and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
