this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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