On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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