I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize