Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
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