At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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