So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
i've created a new STD.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
