my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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