Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
